Daily Figment 44

Birthday Contest: The Lesser Known Geek

Ah yes, I know three of you have been salivating, wringing your hands, and waiting with baited breath for this Geek’s answers to the questions John Frost posted on his blog, The Disney Blog. Patience grasshoppers…..
Clearly, John has the best name for a blog out there and has asked us to pronounce it Thee instead of Thuh. For those of you that have followed his work for sometime, you know the quality of work John does. For those of you who are not familiar, finish reading this, cry a single tear, and then go check out John’s stuff. You will not be disappointed. He is Geek Approved.

1. Have you ever celebrated your birthday at a Disney theme park? If so, tell us about it. I have not celebrated my birthday at Disney. However, I have celebrated vicariously through The Grumptser over at Grumpy’s Hollow. He left a good picture of him and Sleeping Beauty that I get a kick out of. I do feel like everyday is a celebration at Disney, so to have a birthday there would be Grumptastic. I would eat 9 times that day instead of the usual 7, and I would
sing happy birthday to myself in every queue for the entertainment of ‘the simpler folk’.
Truthfully, this question did make me fantasize about going on my birthday next year until I realized the temps in mid Florida on May 31st are usually chaffing hot.
(Ed. Note- Chaffing hot is a very technical and scientific term that falls right above Sweaty Pits Hot and right below Ebola Hot)

2. What is your favorite or most useful tip for guests of Disney’s theme parks?

My favorite tip is to do less better. For someone who is going to Disney for three days and may not go again for five years, the surest way to invite misery into your trip is to CRAM everything into those few days. Seriously, stop and ask any father who is screaming at his four year old about how he doesn’t deserve this trip why he is yelling and he will tell you his kid is an spoiled brat. The real issue here is that dad has kept a four year old out in 98 degree heat for 15 hours a day. Not to mention that both almost suffocated on the bus ride home after Wishes. The kid can’t enjoy being yanked by the arm every time he wants to stop and soak in some mind blowing attraction with the dad yelling “COME ON GUSTAFF, WE STILL HAVEN’T SEEN TEST TRACK YET!!!!”.
Please slow down, smell the turkey legs, breathe deeply, and enjoy each thing you do. You will have a better overall experience, and in turn an better overall vacation. And Gustaff will have two arms the same length…

3. What is your favorite Disney theme park attraction or show and why?
Splash Mountain ain’t no ordinary mountain… It reeks of bear butt and chlorine.

I love Splash Mountain. Disney gives us amazing attractions that submerse you in fantasy and give escape at the most perfect levels. Splash Mountain does this as well as any attraction at Disney…..FOR TEN MINUTES! It’s lengthy ride time, coupled with the Zip-A-Dee Lady payoff (which no other log flume ride in the world bothers with, basically, you drop and you exit), and the amazing buildup with the ultra kinetic water and screams combination you see and feel on approaching the attraction make it tops in my book. Albeit, it is a very wet book from the Laughing Place. I could go on and on about this attraction but I will save it for the tome I am currently penning entitled “The Laughing Place and You: Six Minutes to Tighter, Firmer Abs”

I am hoping the abs part will sell it.

Happy Birthday John’s yet to be named four year old!

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